There are some tips that can help reduce the stress that can come from providing care:
1. Get a diagnosis for the person for whom you care as early as possible.
Ask the doctor what he or she expects to happen over the next months.2. Ask about treatment options and the possible side effects you need to monitor. Find out where the treatment will be evaluated.
3. Know what community resources are available. Using community resources can help you provide better care for your family member, and can take some of the stress off you. Become familiar with resources available in your community (ask your doctor, nurse, or other caregivers; look in the phone book and on the internet). In-home assistance, visiting nurses and Meals-On-Wheels are just some of the community services that can help.
4. Become an educated caregiver. As your family member goes through treatment, his or her needs will change. You may not be providing the same type of care next month that you are today. Ask your doctors and nurses what to expect and call them to help troubleshoot any problems.
5. Get help, be willing to ask for help. Trying to do everything by yourself will leave you exhausted, and you may start to resent having to provide care. The support of family, friends and community resources can be an enormous help. If help is not offered, ask for it and be specific about what you need. If you have a hard time asking for help, have someone close to you ask. If stress becomes overwhelming, don't be afraid to seek professional help, such as a counselor or psychologist. Support group meetings and help lines are also a good source of comfort and reassurance.
6. Take care of yourself. Caregivers frequently devote themselves totally to those they care for, and in the process, neglect their own needs and health care. Pay attention to yourself and your own health. Watch your diet, exercise and get plenty of rest. Use respite services to take time off for shopping, a movie, or an uninterrupted visit with a friend. Those close to you want you to take care of yourself and you will be a better caregiver if you are physically and emotionally healthy.
7. Manage your level of stress. Stress can cause physical problems (blurred vision, stomach irritation, lack of concentration, loss of appetite). Note your symptoms. Be aware when stress is getting to you. Use relaxation techniques that work for you and ask your doctor for help. Imagery, music, journaling, relaxation, massage are all strategies that people use.
8. Accept changes as they occur. Patients may need care that goes beyond what you can do. Know what your options are so that if you need to make changes and seek relocation, it will be a smooth transition, and you do not have to feel guilty about your decision.
9. Do legal and financial planning. Consult an attorney and discuss issues related to durable power of attorney, living wills and trusts, future medical care, housing and other key considerations. Planning now will alleviate stress later. If possible and appropriate, involve other family members in planning activities and decisions.
10. Be realistic. Neither you nor the patient can control many of the things that will happen. Give yourself permission to grieve the losses you experience, but also focus on the positive moments as they occur and enjoy your good memories.
11. Give yourself credit, not guilt. You're only human. You may lose patience and at times be unable to provide all of the care the way you'd like. Remember, you're doing the best you can, so give yourself credit. Being a devoted caregiver is not something to feel guilty about. Your loved one needs you and you are there. That's something to be proud of.
Websites that can help:
- Contact the National Cancer Institute at 1-800-4-CANCER or through the Internet at:
Visit the Family Care Research Program at: http://www.healthteam.msu.edu/fcrp
